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The Holy Ghost is a Tea Party Republican

There just isn’t enough fear in the world, so they invented a ghost to scare us.

Fear’s the thing: There’s this spirit guy in the sky who is omnipresent, even in the bathroom when you’re doing something you shouldn’t. He, or it, knows. It’s watching. So clean up your act. (Grandma said you’d go blind.)

There just isn’t enough fear in the world!

War, murder, Muslims, politicians – that’s not enough? I’m just saying that when I was a boy, the threat was fire and brimstone when you die, and then, for all eternity. They needed an omniscient all-powerful spirit to scare you while you’re still here.

No, no, you say, that’s old fashioned thinking. The real guy in the sky is benevolent. He forgives you as long as you behave in the bathroom, go to church on Sunday, and vote Republican.

You find this blasphemous? Offend your superstitious soul, does it? Well, I didn’t make it up. You’ve heard the above and worse in almost every church, synagogue, mosque, and evangelicalsundaymorningtvshow on the planet.

Out there today, in the 21st century, you’ll find city councilmen, US congressmen and presidents who claim to believe in an invisible God and a Holy Ghost that’s all over the place. They must, or they can’t get elected. Four of the Republican candidates for president during the recent primaries claimed to know the world is only 4,000 years old, and that men walked around at the same time as dinosaurs. Fred Flintstone for President! We elected a president as recently as Ronald Reagan who sang the same song. And he’s a kind of god to most Republicans.

Personally, I find such people offensive, insufficiently educated, irrational, and downright scary. They go to Tea Parties, and have to ask for forgiveness every time they leave the bathroom.

We only have a few days left to save our souls. Quick, pour the Tea Party down the drain. That’s the spirit.

This post is contributed by a community member. The views expressed in this blog are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of Patch Media Corporation. Everyone is welcome to submit a post to Patch. If you'd like to post a blog, go here to get started.

Dan Frazier November 01, 2012 at 05:20 PM
Careful Jac, your true colors are beginning to show. You once blogged about how you dislike those who resort to name calling in their posts and yet here you denigrate not just the Tea Party but the the Republican Party in general because of what? Not their belief in a balanced budget; not because they want to reduce the size (not eliminate) the federal government; not even because of their pro-life stance. No, you ridicule them due to their religious beliefs and that is bothersome, not to mention off-target. Why not include those Democrats (and there are more than a few) who happen to be Christian as well? Or better yet, just go for ALL people who have strong religious convictions? Then you'll really be getting somewhere. Attacking someone or some group due to their social or political views is one thing; doing it based on their religion is, I submit, rather un-American....at least according to the U.S. Constitution. The Catholic and Jewish communities have traditionally supported the Democratic Party in large numbers and yet you don't seem to have a problem with THAT. I find that somewhat interesting.
Jay Berman November 01, 2012 at 05:38 PM
Really Jac ??
Jac Flanders November 05, 2012 at 02:01 AM
Dan - You just haven't been reading carefully enough. I rant against all religions. And, being an atheist is not un-American. We are not a theocracy, which seems surprising to many Christians. Some of my friends choose comedy, some are more talented writers, but my blogs, if you follow carefully, are simply critical of religion and current Republican politics. The Tea Party is loud, successful, and especially dangerous for the country, in my opinion. You and others feel differently, and I really have no chance to change your thinking. I won't even try. Some of your replies are thought-provoking, and I take a serious interest, but your arguments have not persuaded me to give up blogging or to vote Republican. Sorry, if that was your intent. My religious/political blogs are unsuccessful attempts to get religion the hell out of politics, and to stop rich tyrants from using religion as an excuse to kill people. Meanwhile, I occasionally find a friendly Democrat or an atheist, sometimes the same person, to have an interesting chat with. That's why I blog. If, god forbid, Romney wins this election, you'll find out exactly why I am not a Republican. I don't have the room, time, or the inclination here to explain it to you fully. Thanks for reading and, as always, for your replies.
Jac Flanders November 05, 2012 at 02:08 AM
Hi, Jay.
Jay Berman November 05, 2012 at 02:09 AM
Hi Jac ...

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