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Lincoln Film Won’t Log Fans: ‘Vampire Hunter’ is All Guts, No Glory

Don‘t expect a fantasy with presidential substance—movie is just mindless entertainment.

The problem with historical fiction is that the viewer comes into the movie already knowing the ending. The challenge then for the writer and director is to make the audience care about the journey, rather than the destination. It is here that Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter fails.

Directed by Timur Bekmambetov and based on the Seth Grahame-Smith’s best-selling novel with the same title, the film chronicles the secret life of the 16th president as a vampire slayer. But missing from the movie is the humor and heart that makes the book enjoyable.

Abraham Lincoln (Benjamin Walker) vows to kill all vampires after witnessing the murder of his mother at the hands of a vampire when he was a boy. As an adult, Lincoln manages to track down the vampire but fails to kill the vampire and is almost killed himself until rescued by Henry Sturges (Dominic Cooper). Sturges then becomes Lincoln's mentor in vampire hunting.

With the help of Struges, Lincoln becomes a skilled slayer and later, becomes an Abolitionist when he learns that vampires are using slaves as a food source in the South. The filmmaker then takes the audience through the Civil War.

Despite having an interesting foundation, the director never gives the audience a reason to care about Lincoln.

Walker, in his Hollywood debut, with his natural comedic talents did what he could with the character but was never given a chance to create a compelling character—which is too bad, because Walker can act. He got rave reviews playing another president in the Broadway musical Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson but in Vampire Hunter, Walker's talents are wasted.

Yes, vampires are vile creatures that needed to be eliminated. Yes, slavery is repulsive and should be abolished. But there seems to be a disconnect between the two horrors—rather than complementing each other to give the audience the sense of dread about the situation, they seem to cancel each other out.

Bekmambetov seems to favor action and pacing over storytelling. He never slows down enough to let the moment sink in or to the let audience invest in the characters. The frenetic pacing makes the steller action sequence that much more fun and exciting, but like an amusement park ride—it was great while it lasted, but unsatisfying when it’s over.

This movie, however, was not geared toward people who appreciate plots and character developments. It is marketed toward the crowd who enjoys the blood and gore of a good vampire slaying, the Comic-Con crowd.

In that respect, it is an entertaining film, much in the same way that cheap fast food will satisfy your hunger but not satiate you.

As one audience member remarked at the press screening, “It’s so bad that it’s good.”

“Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter” opens nationwide Friday. It's Rated R for violence throughout and brief sexuality.

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Jodina Hahn Gallo May 21, 2013 at 02:31 pm
Ciao Pam! Grazie per il tuo bel commento! / Thanks for your nice comment! Hope your trip to ItaliaRead More was fabulous. Buona giornata :)
Pam May 21, 2013 at 06:52 am
Took this class before a trip to Italy. Very fun and was able to learn quickly with the way theRead More class was taught. Great instructor and wonderful insights. You will enjoy it if you ever wanted to learn Italian. Caio!
ron ranson May 21, 2013 at 09:34 am
This is wonderful news. Congratulations to the students, their instructors and Academy staffRead More members -- and to the supportive parents. A theatre education is the best!
Daniel Woolfolk (Editor) May 17, 2013 at 03:08 pm
Hi Edward, I didn't hear any reports on the scanner or from sources of crashes, rescues or hardRead More landings.
John E May 20, 2013 at 09:33 am
The public deserves an objective, unemotional, factual public debate on this proposition. So far IRead More am still leaning toward a yes vote, but I am keeping an open mind at least through this month.
Status Quo May 22, 2013 at 10:24 am
It is clear... 'Jac' beyond, his conflation to compare American performance on women's issues inRead More America and conformity to UN wants?, is non-comfortability within his own skin and spurned country. This tack(conflation to UN), opens up a wider discussion of the UN being a non-credible agent(documented abuse) in women's rights. Personal observations of 'Jac's offerings, is undue bias and regressive hyper-activity. I will consider your apparent request, by possibly publishing my withheld comments from the articles' original inappropriate reference to that abusive body - the UN and your coveted CEDAW. It is rather long-winded and fully explanatory of abuses by the UN, committed by UN agents and representatives - amounting to crimes(non-jurisdictional) in our country's law already. On your more localized non-issue of ERA, some may take offense at your Ad Hominems but I need not thank you again for the opening to return the favor(s). Contained in my earlier withheld remarks, an mild admonition to 'Batman' for the harshness of his tone but you seem to deserve the distinction he bestowed upon your recurring bias. Thanks again, for the standing to bring a personal tone to the discussion, less need for reviewing my forward remarks and the skewed analysis your repeatedly offer in your tomes. As said, I had already conceived my thoughts and need only to press 'Post comment' but I find them a bit biting and worthy of self-moderation outside the facts presented for your backwoods approval.
Status Quo May 22, 2013 at 09:09 am
Thank goodness 'Jac' you are neither a Judge or member of Congress. The attempt at Ad Hominem isRead More appreciated however, true to your form. 'Grown-up' appears to be whoever agrees with you and not based in law or process.
Jac Flanders May 21, 2013 at 10:49 pm
Thanks for your comment, Frank. I'm certain you're not the only grownup reader of the blog - justRead More the only one so far. (At first, I thought some guys were putting me on; they have to be kidding.) You're right, of course, some Democrats voted against the E.R.A. for women. Shamefully, they and a majority of Republicans have defeated each attempt to pass the amendment so far. I still find it almost unbelievable that some of our neighbors think women do not deserve equal rights under the law. I thought that kind of thinking existed only in Alabama, Mississippi, Georgia, and some backwoods places in Tennessee.
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Sallie Mazzur January 28, 2013 at 11:39 pm
Well said, Nama. I was speechless to see how many people Uncle Ben had influenced during his life,Read More but it's no wonder. There may be one less Ben Taylor in our lives, but Heaven just got a whole lot more fun!
Daniel Woolfolk (Editor) January 24, 2013 at 06:16 pm
Thanks, Kyle for posting this. I'm not sure how things were in the past, but as a Patch editor, I'veRead More seen that blogging and engaging readers directly is a great way to market a book. Steve Repak, a financial planner with a military-themed personal finance book, blogs regularly on Patch and has recently been featured in National Media. Here's that story: http://oceanside-camppendleton.patch.com/articles/steve-repak-featured-on-npr-fox-friends